My name is Patalma and i am a princess!!!! I like PUUPIES!  omg i misspelled puppies! LOL thats funny

I am learning super powres from Salonga, she is my friends. i can heal stooge but not very good. I CAN PUT KITTIES TO SLEEP!!! 

we are looking for another frog princess becuase ranas was bad and lost her head. oopsie no more head.

may 5 2003
salonga and i are going to go on a hunt for a new frog princess!!!!
because ranas died. i will use my website to cronicle the quest!!! we will do good things for people on the way because we are heros! for example today we fixed someone's car! i got oil in my hair, yuck!

the quest starts on friday and i'm excited!! i will see you then!!

may 9 2003
ok! today our journey began. salonga called me stupid and hit me on the head with a stick two times. because i spilled my juice. she says frog princesses don't get to spill their juice and now that i am a full frog princess because ranas died i have to behave myself. i said sorry but sometimes i am jumpy and spill juice!

also we killed a guy who kept beating up hookers. they were funny, they wore fun clothes. i was sorry for them for getting beat up so much so I gave them a puppy. i think they liked it. they were nice hookers.

May 14 2003
we are far west in california!! hollywood says hello! lol! i think i saw brad pitt but it may have been a cactus. I asked salonga where are we going and she said where the wind takes us. but its not windy here so we must be trapped.

this is our second day in california and i didn't write on the first day because we were busy saving the world again, it was fun. there was a GIGANTOMUNGUS MONSTER that tried to EAT US!!!! but we killed it and saved los angelus from ascertain destruction. when the monster died i hugged brad pitt but again it may have been a cactus or maybe he was rabid because i bled afterward. ok salonga is done takin a shower and its my turn now so bye bye!!! <3

august 10 2003
OMG i have not updated all summer because we have been in PRISON!!!!!! not in the united states but in CANADA!!!!! they are real meanies in canada prisons! they made us clean things everyday! omg! and there are so many lesbians!

maybe i should tell you why we were in prison ok? here goes!

after california we went north and ended up in canada and salonga got drunk because in canada there is beer all over the place and she could not stop, and then she was driving because i can't drive but we had to get to someplace very quick so we had to use a car and then she ran over some deer and an old lady and the police chased us! and they arrested me too because i was holding the beer!!!!!!

salonga says that next time i should just open my mouth and talk and then the police will let us go because i am retarded, but i did not think it was very funny at all. i will talk to you later!!!

august 18 2003

now that we are not in prison anymore because we broke out we are escaped from canada. we are back in the good old U S of A, in mexico city. salonga is having a ball! actually she says she is having two, but i don't get to watch because she and Juan have their two balls in his house and not in our hotel. I wish I could have some balls!!! just one would be ok!

oh wait i think i just got it, ewww.

tomorrow we are going to FLY OVER THE OCEAN!! it will be so much fun, I hope I see ocean puppies! i will tell you about it later!!

september 08 2003
we finally got all the way over the ocean and now we are in salonga's native country of Asia!! we went to france but they surrendered hahahaha salonga told me to say that. anyway asia is neat and there are lots of things. but no new frog princess. we cannot find her no matter where we go!!!! where is she? if you are a frog princess please email Elliott and let him know because we need you!!!! where are you frog princess??

also I have a sunburn from flying over the ocean so much and it hurts when salonga pats me on the back but it is more like slapping me on the back lately which is poopy. salonga didn't used to be so mean but now that ranas is dead i guess she is fulling the void.

salonga is a mean void fuller!!

semptember 25 2003

it turns out that Asia does not like it when you steal things! we totally had no asia money so we had to steal some food and they got mad. they chased us across the whole contury and now we are in hiding. i would tell you whear but that would ruin the hidng part. it is kind of sticky though i can tell you that.

in other news i think salonga is finally figuring out where the new frog princess is. maybe when the asians stop patrolling around our sticky hiding place we will fly there to go see her. i am excited!!! i hope she likes puppies!!!

october 24 2003

omg asia is totally whack. just when whe thought it was safe to get out of the hiding place we were asslutated by the asian police. luckily salonga used her feminien wiles to get us free, she beat the police up. but then they sent the asian ARMY after us!!!! and they are a lot of asians!!! so we rana way and ended up in germany and germans sound like they are making loogies all the time i mean come on seriously. its like hello i'm german HAAWWWWWKKK

not that i am prejudice!!! except i totally hate asia now. i will never go back there again not for a millon dollars or a million PUPPIES and that is a lot of puppies.

salonga says she's pretty sure where the new forg princess is but i can't tell you where for security reasons so i will bid you ado!

may 16  2004

we were floating over the ocean again going to the place where the new princess is and then a big giant fish leaped out of the ocean and then it ate us and pulled us back into the ocean!! we were in the ocean!!!!! and a fish!

salonga was all like hey lets kill the fish and escape and i was like no you can't kill it, fish are the puppies of the sea! and then she said that if tuna is the chicken of the sea and tuna is a fish, then how can tuna be a chicken and a puppy at the same time and i said oh please salonga, chicken of the sea is just a metphoar, for food.

AND THEN!! some fishermans caught the fish!! and when they cutted it open, we were spilled out and it was waaay gross because we were covered in fishness. and the fishermans were like hello we are fishermans, why were you in a fish and i was like lol i dont know we just got eated and they were like omg lol.

and then they turned out to be pirates!! and the tied us up and took us to their pirate lair and they were like, arrr we will rape you! and i was like thats not cool, rape is bad! and they were like no way raping is fun and i was like is it as fun as a puppy and they were like yes and i was like yeah right and they were like u talk too much and they hit my face until i was asleep.

AND THEN!! before theyc ould rape us they all died instead because they had eated the fish and it was poisoneus!! salonga called it a day of sex machina and iw as like wow thats pretty gross salonga and she just gave me that look she gives me sometimes.

AND THEN!!! we took a break because salonga said "we work too ficuking hard" (plz excuse the language it is only a quoate!!!) and that is why i have not written anything lately!!! we will find our princess soon!!!!!

this is a frog